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Living With No Regrets

12/21/2015

7 Comments

 
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As most of you know, this year has personally been a tough one for me. I have dealt with hardships and keep riding the waves of grief. But as challenging as it was and still is, I feel stronger and wiser as a result of everything I've had to endure.    

Looking back, I'm proud of my accomplishments and know I have helped a lot of people on a path to a healthier, happier life; more than I could ever have imagined. Nothing could be as rewarding and I am honestly beyond grateful. I wake up and pinch myself each day realizing I am following my dreams and living out my purpose. What could be better?  

As I reflect on the past 365 days and all the good that has come from the time, I still have regrets. As we approach a new year, I am working to let go, learn from it, move on and grow. The little ones should be easier to overcome, but there is one that weighs heavy on me. By far, the biggest disappointment I have is that there was nothing I could do to save my father from losing his battle with cancer. How does a person feel like they can help almost anyone/everyone in their life but not one of the most important people? It's both discouraging and devastating at the same time and has taken a toll on me in the regret department.     

You see, for years I had been trying to create small changes, add in better habits and educate my Dad on what it meant to truly be healthy from the inside-out. I basically made him my client without his consent. I wanted him to be active, lower his stress, not drink as much alcohol, find hobbies that kept his passions alive and most of all, eat wholesome and nutritious foods on the regular. Selfishly, I felt that if I could change my Dad, I would be able to have him around for more milestones and experiences that I was so looking forward to us sharing together. He used to laugh at me and listen to what I had to say, but continue to live the way he wanted. I would get mad and take it personal, but I realize it was never about me. I now understand that we cannot force people into change, we can only support and love them for who they are and what they bring to our lives. A big awakening in my freedom from what has happened leading up to the loss.  

My main goal in 2016 is to live with no regrets, work through the ones present now and encourage those around me to do the same. As we all know, life doesn't usually work out the way we want it to, which is why realizing the potential consequences of our actions (or inactions) is so important. Looking back on the past few months since my Dad has passed, I've learned so much and also have come to understand the most crucial part in someone's journey. I fully know what it takes to lead a healthy lifestyle and will continue to help anyone who is open and willing to learn, but the person has the be ready. That's the key. I realize my Dad wasn't quite there and probably thought what happened to him never really would, an all too common mistake most of us are guilty of in today's day and age. 
  
If you are stuck somewhere in the middle and are unsure as to where you stand (or would like to lend a hand to some of your loved ones), here are some questions I have for you to ask as we approach a new year and clean slate of living with no regrets:
 
Who is in your circle?
  • Are you surrounded by people who lift your spirits, support your dreams and encourage you to achieve your goals? This is one of the most important components in those who are successful versus those who are not. Take the time to weed out the X's in your circle and add in more O's this year. The energy will make a difference and you will be a better person for it. There is no need to apologize to those individuals whom you outgrow. Let go and move on; circle improved. 
What is holding you back? 
  • Are you inundated daily with thoughts and reasons why something won't work or excuses that make you lose sight of the long run? 99.9% of the time, people I work with are simply just standing in their own way. After you weed out the X's in your circle, make sure you, in fact, are not an X yourself. Misery loves company and taking a look in the mirror is a big part of that process too. Speak positively to yourself, be kind, recognize that real changes don't happen overnight and be grateful for how far you've already come. It's everything. 
When do you plan to do this? 
  • Are you clear on the time frame of your goals? Having a concise and well thought out plan is critical, but so is the time in which is it completed. Checking off things on the list throughout the days, weeks and months of your plan is realistic and helpful, making short and long term goals equally important in this process to stay focused. 
Where do you see room for error?
  • Are you able to pinpoint the hurdles before even starting? Sometimes, we already know what may get in the way prior to embarking on a new journey. Create "safe" environments at home, work, within social groups. Join a new gym, recruit buddies to enhance your accountability and grow your network. If you can't find a tribe, make one. But always remember you are who you surround yourself with most so pick accordingly (don't forget about your circle!) 
Why do you want to make changes at all? 
  • In all seriousness, what is the deepest part of your gut telling you? Whether you are unhappy in your clothes, want to compete in an event, are scared from recent interactions with your doctor or are just simply fed up with feeling like crap, find your root and dig even deeper. You must understand the reasons why changing is even slightly important to you before starting. I have worked with a lot of people and I promise you the ones who are most successful long term are the ones who understand what makes them tick. They are always grounded in the very strong reasons as to why their health is most important to them. 
How do you plan to accomplish these goals? 
  • Are you capable of making these changes on your own? If you cannot honestly answer that with an absolute HELL YES then seek guidance, ask for help and do not go at it alone. It's a fact that success rates sky rocket when outside accountability is in tact and you are not by yourself in the journey.  

​It's very common to reflect on the past year and have some "could of, would of, should of's." As you can see, I do the same. But just as I plan to move on and grow from what I've learned, I encourage you to try as well. Take note of what worked, what didn't, and how you plan to live 2016 with no regrets...

As for me, I have accepted what ultimately was my father's journey. I am grateful for the time I was able to spend with him and know that for the most part, he was living in a way that made him happy. I am finding my peace in that. However, I will continue to keep my doors wide open to anyone who is ready to walk through and work on the most important job of all time: long term health, vitality and the prevention of chronic and degenerative diseases. Although I can't change the outcome for my Dad, what I can do is honor his life and legacy day in and day out through my work. If I can prevent just one person from going through the pain and suffering my family has had to endure upon his death, I feel I will have succeeded. 

I hope this article inspires you to take a good, hard look at your life and ask yourself the tough questions needed to answer what is truly holding you back from living the life of your dreams- not just in 2016 but beyond. If there are loved ones in your life you are struggling to change, share this with them and maybe it will shed some light and motivate them to walk down a different path... 

Remember- It's better to look back on life and say "I can't believe I did that," than to look back and say "I wish I did that."

Thank you all for not only an amazing year, but the unconditional love & support through the not-so-amazing times. I can't tell you how lucky I feel and am truly blessed to be surrounded by such an incredible community of people. You make my heart feel full again. Thank you so much.  

Here's to a New Year of No Regrets! 
Alicia 
7 Comments
Nicole
12/21/2015 08:28:24 am

Beautifully written and powerful! Inspiring to so many, Peach xo

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Mer
12/21/2015 09:56:29 am

This was wonderful. xo

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Alyssa
12/21/2015 10:11:44 am

Big love to you & your family Alish... Miss you so so much. Xoxo

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Lisa
12/21/2015 03:57:33 pm

Inspired! Thank YOU

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Amy
12/22/2015 09:15:55 pm

That was simply touching. You bring out the best in all of us, so YOU keep doing what you do best and WE will keep listening and powering through. I'm sure your Dad is so so very proud of you. ❤️
2016, No regrets!

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Erin
1/6/2016 06:51:54 pm

Love this. You are an inspiration for so many. Keep on doing what you do best and spreading your message! Love you!

Reply
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    Alicia McDonough
    HHC, AADP, FLT, PN certified 

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